So, he leaves us gentle glass creatures tied by fishline to dead branches, screaming and breaking against eachother in the stormy winds.

Please, cut me free and give me away so that I may shine, hanging in a beautiful window. Magnifying the thin rays that hit me, changing them to a spectrum of colors and hitting everybody with candy-colored light.

This is the end of the beginning.

Goodbye.

Gabriella "Coco" Chanel.

"Chanel lived at the very center of an extraordinary professional success, yet she suffered extreme loneliness, having failed in what meant the most to her- the life of a woman. What she had, however, was more independence, more freedom than most could ever imagine."

"As a business executive, Chanel proved to be altogether the equal of men, often their superior, but in her private life she was the most vulnurable of women. The worst of it was that while fashion may have constituted the focus of her entire existence, this grand preoccupation could not satisfy her need for love, a realm in which Gabrielle Chanel met nothing but disillusionment."

"Happy? Gabrielle Chanel pretended that she was, although many years later she would admit, in rare, unguarded moments, that this was a time, more than ever afterwards, when she often found herself in tears. She also professed to have only modest aspirations, wanting true love, to be chosen, preferred, and that the choice be for always. But destiny decreed that such happiness would never be hers."

-CHANEL and her world by Edmonde Charles-Roux

A  note to you, beautiful Coco, hopefully looking down from heaven:

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."  -Joseph Campbell

Currently Reading What Is Beauty?: New Definitions from the Fashion Vanguard By Dorothy Schefer, Isabella Rossellini, Bruce Weber see related

by my beautiful ashlee bassa... whom i hope to see soon. it touched my soul, my lovely:

Love-

You've told me not to chase,

You've asked me not to pursue,

but BeLoved

i cannot contain myself

from seeking after You.

Currently Watching Garden State By Zach Braff, Peter Sarsgaard, Natalie Portman see related

"Pick me up, Love. Everyday." -DMB

songs i adore:

1. Blue Meets Red/Matt Wertz

2. Tiny Dancer/Elton John

3. Bohemian Rhapsody/Queen

reasons for adornment (i know, not the meaning of the word, but i like the way it sounds):

1. it describes the glory and beauty i feel when i worship the only one worthy of all of my love. the complete abandonment He grants me and how much i desire Him.

2. it describes the girl in me. who i am. kind of lost and broken and delighted and beautiful.

3. it reminds me of home. of oldies and bandcamp and breaking out into random musicals. of working @ club 7 with the kids. of baking "mint condition" cookies. of making interpretive dance videos for ap biology (where is that video???). of 10 mile runs and hitting that sign that kent stole from the front of the school. of snowboarding in the park in the middle of the night. of the drama castroom and pixie stix. of playing the lead role. of competing (why am i so passive now?) of mass coed sleepovers, where everyone was so innocent and didn't even think about it in a bad way (why is it that i all of a sudden get to college and all my guy friends can't come over and watch movies and fall asleep on my floor?). of extending our ap test date by drawing the human cranium diagram freestyle on the board and marking in all the bone and muscle names. of gilpins face when i did it. of calc and actually challenging myself for a change in math. of dances 4 times a year and having a man treat you like a woman. of airhockey with em. of garagesaling in rollerblades. of immanuel and sv rummage sales. of strawberry poptarts. of driving my beat up little car around town with a box of 400 flavor ice pops and chasing down grass mowing boys, runners, cops washing cars, etc. to give them a tasty treat and actually have them accept because it's a small town and they don't have to be scared. of throwing things off 'j' road tower and lighting creamer on fire with the torch. of the moore's house. of john's stageprop fireplace that mrs. moore hung all 8 kids stockings on for christmas. of bbq's. of being in love. of being "in loved" back. of nieces and puppies. oh my dear Lord, i have to stop.